One of my paragraphs I decided to change was my intro. I looked at what my peers had to say about it and took some of their advice to clean it up. I also made a bunch of spelling and grammar errors that were in the paragraph. I added some more of my own personal thought to the paragraph and I made my thesis more clear. I also wanted to grab the readers attention so I tried to make the start to my paragraph pop.
The other paragraph that I edited was my conclusion, I read the paragraph out load to hear how it sounded and made sure that I didn’t or forget any words that I needed. I then looked for grammar errors, and fixed those. My conclusion was a little short so I added some more thought to it and made it longer. I think that these changes will help to make my essay better.
