Author: jpiller

For this third and final essay the prompt is full of possibilities and options to base my essay off of. A major part of being able to have a good essay is to have a thesis that lets the reader know what you are going to be talking about during the essay and what side you are arguing for. The prompt is all about beauty and the experiences that you have had with beauty. To help develop a thesis I chose to focus on a smaller part of the prompt. For the part that I chose to focus on is ” How can beauty be used to help better communities”. Beauty plays a big role in communities everywhere even if people do not realize it. If you were to take a town for example, the majority of people that live there are working or have a thousand things going on in their lives. Beauty can give those people a way to relax and clear their minds. Beauty can come in tons of different forms in these communities or towns, for example having a concert in a park or common area is just one example of how beauty can be added to communities, it also allows the community to come together and be able to socialize. How I can relate to this in my own community back home there was a park that had baseball fields, basketball hoops, and a skate park that I would always go to with my friends whenever we just wanted to get away and shoot hoops. At the time I did not see this as something beautiful, but now that I am reflecting back on it I can see that this park is beautiful because the community is what made it beautiful.

Another possible question that I could possible use for my thesis is “How do we use beauty to improve everyday life”. For me since I am in college beauty is everywhere. For example I can find countless examples of beauty when I am just walking to class that is five minutes from my dorm. I will see tons of other students as-well as me listening to music through their headphones. Music is a huge part of my life and it can change how I’m feeling just based on what song comes on. Another example of beauty is just being in nature and seeing all of the beautiful things that nature has to offer us. I find that being outside in nature for even just a little bit can really help me with my day, the fresh air and beautiful plants and sights really help lift my mood. Another example is all the different types of artwork around or even in the dorm rooms. Art allows us to express ourselves and by decorating say a dorm room it makes it feel more like your own room and not just a random room that you are staying in.

For my online article I chose “What is Art? and/or What is Beauty?” that I found on Philosophy Now. This article was written byJoseph Nieters. This article goes into detail about what beauty and art are. The article starts off talking about what art and beauty are by themselves. The article then starts to go into how art and beauty are related and what each has to offer. I plan to use this article to help my essay and give more credibility while I continue to write it.

For my two beauty podcasts I plan to use Victoria’s podcast. I chose Victoria’s podcast because I think that she did a really good job of starting off the podcast and asked a lot of good questions. I like how your podcast gave me a new perspective on beauty.

For my second beauty podcast I plan on using Matt’s podcast. I really thought that he did a really good job of starting off the interview asking some good questions. Matt’s mom had a really cool perspective on what beauty is and how she explained it was really cool. I found a lot of the questions and answers that were in the podcast were really good.

For me beauty is something that can’t really be defined with a definition. When I see something beautiful it makes me pause for a moment and really appreciate the true beauty for what it is. I don’t find beauty in luxury items or the next big thing, I like to look for the beauty in the small things like just taking a walk in the forest or sitting on the beach. I feel like the community at UNE has a similar view on beauty as I do. The campus itself is beautiful, there are flowers planted everywhere and incredible views everywhere. I can really tell that UNE values beauty by the way that the campus is always get in the best condition.  Armstrong’s statement, “To regard beauty as a luxury adornment or a social signifier was to miss the true potential of the experience”, I think is a great way of describing what beauty is. In today’s society I feel like everyone is always on some type of technology that they miss the true beauty in life. Hanging out with family and friends or just enjoying your surroundings is what beauty is all about. Today beauty is seen as having the newest or best thing out when in reality those things are not truly beautiful.

Beauty Podcast 4:44 0

I chose to read that chapter “As He Puts It” form “They Say I say” which is about how to launch an effective argument that you need to write the arguments of others into your own text. I chose this chapter because I think that I have a hard time sometimes of using someone else’s work to help my argument. I feel like I could find better quotes that help support my argument. I think that by reading this chapter that it was helpful and gave me some new ideas of how to find quotes that really help support my claim and arguments.

For my revisions I changed up my thesis statement.

Old thesis:  Art and science should not be pegged against each other but rather be encouraged to come together.

New thesis:

Sports management is a up and coming field, as someone studying in this field my goal is to be a general manager of a professional sports team. The integration Arts and sciences will be very beneficial to the field and the possibilities endless.

One of my paragraphs I decided to change was my intro. I looked at what my peers had to say about it and took some of their advice to clean it up. I also made a bunch of spelling and grammar errors that were in the paragraph. I added some more of my own personal thought to the paragraph and I made my thesis more clear. I also wanted to grab the readers attention so I tried to make the start to my paragraph pop.

The other paragraph that I edited was my conclusion, I read the paragraph out load to hear how it sounded and made sure that I didn’t or forget any words that I needed. I then looked for grammar errors, and fixed those. My conclusion was a little short so I added some more thought to it and made it longer. I think that these changes will help to make my essay better.

After reading Anne Lamotts essay it gave me a sense of encouragement for my essay. In her essay she talks about how the great authors write bad first drafts and they know that not everything that they write right away is going to be their best work. I did not feel like my first draft was my best work but after reading this essay it has given me some more confidence. I think that it will take some time to write a good essay but if I keep going with my rough draft I think that I will be able to have a good paper.

I have made many goals for my revisions with my essay. One goal is to add some sources from outside the direct reading to help further help back up my claims. I also want to make my thesis stronger and make the essay more personalized by adding more of my personal opinion. I also want to improve on making my paragraphs by intertwining the Ted Talk and Southan’s essay. In my first draft I don’t think that I did a good enough job of including both of those into my paragraphs, I just did one or the other. Being able to work in groups I think is a real beneficial to me because it allows other people to look at my paper and give their opinion.

Editing someone else’s paper I learned some things that could help me with my own essay. I picked up on the fact that I need to add more detail after my quotes. I think that by doing this it will help further my overall argument in my essay.

After reading and reviewing, “Is it OK to make art?,” and watching, “How Can Public Art Projects Transform Rough Neighborhoods?,” I noticed that the two had an abundance of similarities. These two articles gave me a completely new view on what art actually does for the world. In “How Can Public Art Projects Transform Rough Neighborhoods?,” Dre Urhahn and Jeron Koolhaas are able to transform rough areas that are struggling into colorful beautiful places that the people who live there now feel a sense of pride in the place they call home. Both of these articles show the power of what art can do for people and that you can do more to help society by just donating money.

The brainstorming activity gave me the opportunity to be able to get my ideas down on paper and helped me compare the articles. I feel like it was a good chance to see how similar these two articles really are. It definitely helped with comparing the articles and gave me a good idea what I am going to write for the essay.